To My First College Friend

Dear friend,
You were my very first friend in college. We met through our class Facebook page the summer before freshman year. We exchanged numbers in order to avoid any loneliness in the cafeteria when we got to campus. I bet you don't remember any of that.
When we started becoming close friends that summer before school, I made it known to you that I was kind of scared after a rough experience with a previous guy friend. You promised me you wouldn't do what he did to me. I can tell you don't remember that.

Had you remembered that promise, I wouldn't be writing this.

The first day of orientation, you greeted me with a big hug. You were always there. You were always good about offering hugs and prayers when I needed it.
Junior year, a lot of crazy stuff happened in my personal life. When I finally opened up and told you what was going on, you asked if I was ok. I appreciated that more than you know. You were the first one to ask.
Sometime during senior year, I stopped existing to you. Texts went unanswered. We barely spoke in person. You deleted me from all of your social media. No explanation. No goodbye. Exactly what you said you wouldn't do.
Was it your girlfriend? Did you think I wanted more than a friendship with you? That seems to be a common problem with my guy friends. If that was the case, why didn't you talk to me about it?
A few weeks ago, you got married. Congratulations! I wish I could've been there, just like I wish you'd be there whenever that happens for me.
I do wish you and your new wife all the best. I am genuinely happy for you guys and think you make a great couple.
I just miss you.
Love,
Your former friend.

Why I Don't Get Excited for Wedding Season

Since wedding season has wrapped up, I thought now would be a good time to write this. This is probably going to be one of the most brutally honest and vulnerable posts I have ever written. Based on the title, you probably think this is going to be some rant about being single and seeing wedding pictures on Facebook, but it's not. I do have a wonderful boyfriend, so this isn't about that.
When I went away to college, I met some of the nicest, coolest, sweetest, most fun people I have ever met in my life. For the first time, it felt like I had a real "squad," people who actually enjoyed having me around, and didn't just tolerate me. I had a solid circle of friends.
Throughout my time in college, a lot of people told me to prepare to receive lots of wedding invitations in the years to come. A lot of people get married not long after graduation. I was so ready for it. These people meant a lot to me, I was super happy for them, and I wanted to celebrate with them.
Graduation day was a year and a half ago. Some friends got married before then, and a lot have gotten married since. There have been roughly 25 weddings, and that's only those involving my college friends, some of which where I had been friends with both the bride and the groom. How many of these weddings have I been invited to? One. That's right, 25 weddings and I was only invited to one.
The one wedding I was invited to was that of my roommate from freshman year. Sadly, I was unable to attend due to it being far away, not having a car, and having finals. She said she figured that would happen, but she still invited me. I still have that invitation somewhere among my college stuff.
One friend's wedding happened while we were still in school. When she first got engaged, she had told me I would definitely be invited to her wedding. My best friend and I were both invited to her bachelorette party and her baby shower, but neither of us were invited to her wedding.
Many times when I talk about this subject with friends they say, "Well maybe it was a small venue and they could only invite so many people?" Look, I understand that kind of thing. The problem is, many times when photos from these weddings surface online, everyone else we knew in college is there. It's hard not to feel left out. And it's kind of hard to believe that out of 25 weddings, only one had enough space for me.

The Importance of Reaching Out

Recently, a young lady that I went to school with passed away after a drug overdose. I didn't know this girl very well, but I know she was sweet, bright, and passionate. We were all absolutely devastated to receive this terrible news.
As I let the news sink in, it occurred to me that, in a meeting with my adviser when I was still in college, this girl's name came up. She hadn't been coming to class and we were wondering why. My adviser suggested I get on Facebook and reach out to her, maybe I could find out what was up and see if she was okay.
Like I said, I didn't know her well, we weren't friends on any social media platforms, so I never reached out.
When that thought hit me, I was also hit with a wave of guilt. I sat there thinking, I should've just reached out to her when I had the chance. What if that could've made a difference?
Now, I know that addiction and mental illness are things that are much bigger than any one person. No one person is to blame for what happens to those who are struggling. Everything happens for a reason.
I did learn something from this. When you sense someone is struggling, even if you know there's probably not much you can do, you should still reach out. Maybe what they need is a little extra love and encouragement. If you are struggling yourself, reach out. Find someone you trust, contact one of the many crisis chat/text lines, call the suicide hotline. You can even email me.I know how hard it is to reach out and ask for help, but you'll thank yourself later.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
Website: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Drug Abuse Hotline: 1-877-990-7370
Website: https://drugabuse.com/library/drug-abuse-hotlines/
As always, if you believe you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 911.

College Life Tips

It's your freshman year of college. You're living in a new place with new people. It can be scary, I know, but I'm here to help. Here are some tips to help with the transition and help you get the most out of your college experience.

• Get to know your roommates/suitemates. Getting to know the people you are living with will make living with them a lot better and a lot easier.
• Bring pictures of your friends and family. Put them up on your side of the room. Trust me, it'll help with the homesickenss.
• Use your headphones. Not everyone wants to listen to the music or movie you're listening to. Be respectful of that.
• Invest in some noise-canceling headphones. As someone who lived near some of the loudest people ever, not having noise-canceling headphones is probably one of my biggest regrets. Don't know which ones to get? Review.com conducted thorough research to find the best. Read all about them here and decide for yourself.
• Keep the noise down. When you're just hanging out in your dorm, don't be blasting music and talking as loud as possible. The people around you are trying to study. Keeping your voice down will also help keep the wrong people from learning things you don't want them knowing about you,
• Flush the toilet. You would think with everyone being 18 and older this wouldn't need to be said, but it does. In most college dorms, bathrooms are shared by multiple people.
• Keep your personal items in your space. It's really frustrating when you go to brush your teeth and some other girl's stuff is all over the counter...and she's not even in the bathroom. Or when you go to take a shower and the girl who showered before you has left her clothes and shampoo everywhere.
• Close the curtain when you shower. When you shower with the curtain open, it gets the bathroom floor very wet, sometimes to the point that it feels like it's flooded. Don't be the girl that leaves the bathroom floor all wet for the next girl.
• Wear flip flops in the shower. In fact, just never go to the bathroom barefoot. It's college. You never know what you might step in. Dorm bathrooms and showers tend to be quite gross.
• Be aware of dorm rules. A lot of schools have certain rules to follow when living in a dorm (i.e. quiet hours). Be aware of those rules and follow them. It will save you a lot of trouble, literally.
• Join clubs. Most schools have some kind of club fair to show what activities they have available. Go to it and find at least one group/activity that interests you. It'll help you make friends that share your interests, and you'll get more out of your college experience.
• Go to events on campus. Just like joining clubs, going to campus events (i.e. dances, movie screenings, cookouts, etc.) will help you meet people and make friends. They're also super fun and sometimes include free food.
• Don't be afraid to ask for help. Whether it's going to a tutor, talking to your professor during office hours, or talking with a counselor, don't be afraid to reach out when you need help. 
• Don't be scared of the RAs. Your Resident Assistants (RAs) are there to help you. Don't be afraid of them. Get to know them and let them get to know you. Getting to know them will humanize them a little bit and make it easier to reach out when you need help.
• Make time to study. Most of this post has been about the social aspect of being in college, but don't forget about the academics. With so much happening on campus, it's easy to get distracted. Be sure to schedule yourself some time to study and get homework done. (Hint: one way to study AND be social at the same time is to join/create a study group)

Don't be scared. You've got this! Have fun and be safe my dear freshies!

College Packing List

You're about to leave home and be on your own for the first time. It's okay to be unsure of what exactly you need to bring with you. I got you.

Essentials

• Sheets/pillow/comforter
• Any medications you need
• Backpack
• Pens/pencils
• Planner
• Notebooks/paper
• Textbooks (obviously)
• Laptop/charger
• Headphones
• Cell phone/charger
• Shampoo/conditioner/soap
• Towel
• Toothbrush/toothpaste
• Deodorant
• Clothing
• Laundry detergent/dryer sheets
• Quarters, if laundry is not included
• Shower shoes (flip flops-trust me, college showers can be gross)
• Shoes (enough that you're prepared for any weather)
• Jackets (enough that you're prepared for any weather)
• Fridge (if your school doesn't provide one)
• Microwave (if your school doesn't provide one)

Not Essential (but still very helpful)

• Printer
• Tape
• Stapler/staples
• Photos of friends/family/pets
• Travel mug (you'll want to bring coffee to class)
• Decorations for your dorm
• Air freshener
• Mirror
• Curling iron/straightener
• Your favorite musical instrument (there will likely be people you can jam with)
• Books for pleasure reading
• Flashlight
• Umbrella
• Fan (if AC not provided, or you get hot easily)
• Small space heater (if heat not provided, or you get cold easily)
• Rug
• Your favorite stuffed animal (trust me, nobody will judge you)
• Scarf/hat/gloves (if you're somewhere where it actually snows)
• Volleyball/basketball/frisbee/soccer ball

If I forgot anything, tell me in the comments!

Life of A Psych Major

Being a psych major is great. Here are some struggles all psych majors understand.
1. Taking abnormal psych and self-diagnosing everything you do all the time
2. APA Style.

3. Finding the perfect article for your paper...and it's in a foreign language
4. ...Or you can't access the full text
5. When you tell people you're a psych major and they don't want to talk to you anymore

6. Taking developmental psych and re-evaluating your entire childhood
7. ...And thinking you're an expert on parenting
8. Looking for an article for your research paper and getting lost in the databases for the rest of the day
9. When your friends say something causes something and all you can say is "correlation does not equal causation"
10. SPSS. It's the worst.