When it comes to the topic of abortion, you usually see people who are either passionately for “safe and legal” abortion, or passionately against all abortion. There are very few people who are indifferent on the topic. What also seems to be hard to find are people who are on opposite sides of the debate who can have a civil conversation about it. There tends to be a lot of name-calling and/or graphic images. It becomes more about being right than actually helping women, which does not help either cause. Personally, I am very pro-life, but even I am appalled at the behavior of some fellow pro-lifers.
Whether it’s
at the March For Life, outside an abortion clinic, or on social media, many
pro-life advocates use a lot of name-calling and graphic images to try and make
their point. They will call women baby killers and murderers while holding up
gory photos of aborted babies. This sort of behavior does more harm than good.
First of all, it shames a woman who is already struggling. Secondly, it makes the
whole pro-life movement look bad. This inappropriate behavior is so common, many
of those on the pro-choice side use it to argue against the pro-life movement.
I recently did
a little research and reached out to some people to find some suggestions of
how those counseling and praying on the sidewalks could conduct themselves in
order to better represent what the pro-life movement is really about.
The first
person I thought to contact was Abby Johnson. Abby is a former Planned
Parenthood clinic director who became a pro-life advocate after witnessing an
ultrasound-guided abortion. She now runs a non-profit, And Then There Were None,
that helps those working in the abortion industry to leave. Between running a
non-profit, traveling to speaking engagements, and being a mother of eight
children, Abby is kept pretty busy, so her website offers helpful answers to
many questions she often gets, including how to behave as a sidewalk counselor.
She advises against using inflammatory language, such as calling the clinics
death chambers and slaughterhouses and calling the women murderers. You need to
show love and compassion, offer resources if the woman decides to choose life,
and show that you genuinely care. Abby also states that “if you are on the
sidewalk and feel anger in your heart, then just leave.”
Next, I
reached out to a friend of mine, who will remain anonymous, that volunteers as
a patient escort at a Planned Parenthood clinic. Recently, a pro-life protester
on the sidewalk outside the same clinic posted a video where she harassed my
friend and gave out her personal information, including her real name, her Facebook
name (that is different from her real name for a reason), and where she works
(the video was reported to Facebook, but apparently “didn’t violate community
standards”). I asked her if there was anything she saw those on the sidewalk
doing that was peaceful and non-threatening.
My friend
began her answer by pointing out that simply having a presence on the sidewalk can
be intimidating to the patients. The ones she typically does not mind are the
ones that are respectful of clinic property and simply pray. She also gave an
example of a group she recently interacted with that were from out of town.
They spoke to her as a person about the love and forgiveness of Christ, and
they even offered her cookies.
What does
bother my friend is when people bring the graphic signs. Like she said before,
simply having a presence on the sidewalk is intimidating enough, the graphic
images just add to that and make it worse. It also is very frustrating when
people bring their kids to the sidewalk with them. One reason for that is
because people tend to not watch the kids and risk them running out into the
street. People also often bring their kids to use them as props to make the
women coming to the clinic feel guilty. All my friend wants is for those on the
sidewalk to simply follow the “golden rule” and think, what would Jesus do? Would
he offer prayers and assistance or shout at and intimidate them?
Lastly, I
reached out to Students For Life. The response I got back came from their
Programs Director, Mary Briganti. She offered a ton of suggestions. First, she
said a sidewalk counselor’s three main jobs are to 1. Minister to the needs of
abortion-minded women and encourage them to choose life, 2. Pray for the lives
lost within the abortion facility, and 3. Encourage abortion workers to leave
the industry. She also told me about Sidewalk Advocates For Life and their 5 Point
Method (1. Smile and greet in love, 2. Give literature and explain the help, 3.
Ask and listen to her, 4. Solve the perceived problem, and 5. Empower her to
leave.)
Mary
reminded me that it is also important to try and engage with clinic workers,
not just patients, because if there are no clinic workers, there can be no
abortion clinics, but you need to treat them with love, compassion, and respect
as well. Her recommendations for reaching out to workers are 1. Always smile
and greet in love, 2. Offer resources like abortionworker.com that will help
them leave the industry, 3. If met with hostility, always be polite, gracious,
and positive. 4. If faced with aggression, remember you are on a public
sidewalk and are legally allowed to be there, 5. Pray for their conversion. If
you’d like to see an example, I recommend watching the movie Unplanned and
observing how Marilisa and Shawn interact with Abby.
For more
information and training on being a sidewalk counselor, visit https://sidewalkadvocates.org/ and/or
https://www.studentsforlifehq.com/products/take-down-the-abortion-industry/categories/1180104/posts/5503309
